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The Cowhey Chronicles Cage of Death XII Edition
Saturday, December 4, 2010 @ 02:00pm EST

Christmas Is On December 11th This Year!
For those of you who don’t know me…  My name is Dan Cowhey and I am the newest member to the CZW Commentary Team as I was lucky to announce the fantastic Tag Team Tournament match between the Osirian Portal and The Runaways.  Some of you may already know who I am and have been following my “Chronicles” through the wrestling world since 2006.  I am happy that my road has finally led me back “home” to the Asylum Arena in South Philadelphia to work with CZW.  And it looks like I’ve made it just in time for Christmas!
Christmas this year falls on December 11th and will be celebrated at 7:30 PM at the Asylum Arena!  No, I haven’t lost my mind…  For CZW fans, Christmas has been the second Saturday of December since 2001.  What am I talking about?  I’m talking about CAGE OF DEATH!  On December 11th I will be taking part in my first Cage of Death, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what this event means for CZW and, quite frankly, the entire wrestling world.
Cage of Death is the single event that every wrestler strives to take part in, and every non-wrestling personality wants to be apart of.  And that is a fact.  How do I know?  Because I was part of the competition at one point, and one the second Sunday of December every person in the locker room NEEDED to know what happen at Cage of Death…  They needed to know what the cage looked like, who fell from where and what through, they needed every single piece of information they could get.  And whether the boss liked it or not, some of the boys in the competitor’s locker room went to the Arena that night to see it all unfold before their eyes.  Now will anyone admit it?  Maybe not…  But on December 10, 2006 (The day after Nick F’N Gage forced the “Ultraviolent Icon” Zandig to retire) when I was still in my infancy as a pro-wrestling commentator, I knew that one day I HAD to call a Cage of Death!
Sure, I’ve have been lucky enough to call some fantastic matches.  Hell…  I’ve been lucky enough to announce with some of the greats in wrestling like Diamond Dallas Page, “The Living Legend” Larry Zbysko, Tod Gordon, John House, Eric Garguilo, and so many more that escape me right now.  BUT…  I can’t even image to call my career complete until I get to call a Cage of Death.
There are a plethora of matches in the wrestling encyclopedia that many wrestlers have been a part of…  But Cage of Death…  Cage of Death is only for the true modern day gladiators.  Cage of Death has only had 24 men and 1 woman enter its confines.  And even after December 11th there will only be 27 men (and 1 woman) who have ever dared to enter. Some are just happy to be on the Cage of Death card…  But those 25 people, soon to be 28, they need more than just a spot on the card.  They need to prove that they are modern day warriors amongst grapplers.
For some of those men like Lobo, Justice Pain, Mad Man Pondo, Wifebeater, Nick F’N Gage, Zandig, Ian Knoxx, New Jack, Adam Flash, Nate Hatred, Danny Havoc, Brain Damage, Scotty Vortex, Diehard Dustin Lee, Necro Butcher, Toby Klein, and DJ Hyde, Cage of Death was designed for them.  Those men were already known as the toughest of the tough in the ring prior to entering “the Cage,” but afterwards they were solidified as legitimate bad asses in the world of professional wrestling and Ultraviolent Icons.  For others like The Messiah, Johnny Kashmere, Trent Acid, B-Boy, LuFisto, Joker, Devin Moore, and even Sami Callihan, they really never had to enter the Cage of Death.  They were seen as the top craftsmen of their trade and would not have been looked down upon had they decided not to enter.  But they entered…  And because they have entered, they had become the Ultraviolent Icons they deserved to be.
“The Cage” is truly a test of one’s will and desire to be considered one of the best wrestlers in the world.  Sure there are plenty of legends and hall of fame wrestlers out there that have never since the inside of the Cage of Death.  Does that make them any less of a person?  No…  But when they construct the Museum of Professional Wrestling History, there will be a whole wing dedicated to the 25, soon to be 28, Cage of Death alums.
How can’t you see that Cage of Death XII on December 11th is Christmas come early for us wrestling fans?  Every year whether you’ve walked into the Asylum Arena or hit play on your DVD remote, it’s like coming down the stairs Christmas morning and seeing that gift you asked Santa for sitting under the tree at dawn on Christmas morning.  Sure…  Somebody may shoot their eye out for real inside the Cage of Death, but you get the point.  I personally haven’t seen the blueprints yet for this year’s Cage, but I have heard some things…  If what I heard is true, then to quote my good friend…  “Somebody call 911!”  Because there is sure to be carnage inside the Asylum Arena on December 11th!
I’ll see you all at Cage of Death…  And until then, you stay classy CZW Fans!
~ Dan Cowhey


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